About four years ago, I was picking John up in my car ready for our League match in Redhill. John's road is a crescent, with cars tightly parked on either side of the road, and not many places to pull in. I'd stopped outside his house in the middle of the road with my hazard lights on. John did his usual thing of throwing his cue in the car and jumping in quickly afterwards and closing the car door quick before anything coming the other way took the door off.
But this time as John jumped in there was a sickening "crack" - in his haste he had sat on his cue !
"Oh no !" he yelled "I've only gone and broken my f***ing cue ! That's it, I won't be able to play tonight, it's the only one in existence like it, I've had it 30 years, it's one of only two made together at the same time and Andy Finn had the other one off me on permanent loan !" And all the way in the car from Crawley to the Flying Scud the air was blue, I heard swearwords that I'd never heard before and didn't even know existed !
Anyone who knows Andy Finn will realise by the way that it is difficult enough trying to get a fag back once he's bummed one off you, so getting the cue back - well John might as well forget it. As for the cue, it obviously has magical properties, as many would testify judging by the amount of jammy shots that rolled off it week in, week out. So we already used to refer to it as "Turner's magic wand" so the fact that it now lay fractured in my car was a cause for alarm.
Would it have the same powers as a two-piece ?So we got to the Scud and Mike the landlord (a rather military looking fellow with a handlebars moustache) listened to John's saga of woe with a sympathetic ear, and said to John "tell you what, for tonight you can borrow my cue". He went out the back and returned with a cue in a case which looked brand new, as if it had never seen the light of day, let alone ever been used. John viewed with suspicion and said he'd give it a go.
He was on first, got the break in twice, missed the one-up and threw Mike's cue down in the corner, saying "I can't play with a stick like that !" Well to hear Mike's pride and joy described at a "Stick" and not even a cue was hilarious for some of us, but we had to contain our mirth when we saw Mike's lip trembling.
Anyway, cut a long story short, JT managed to glue his wand back together again in a near-invisible mend, which restored most of its magic powers. It has been running at about 75% strength ever since. Close examination reveals a jagged mark, that's the only visible sign. Hardly a week goes by that we don't see some sort of jammy shot though.
I can post this with impunity as he's abroad in Spain at the moment.