Post by Hem Cleveland on Jul 22, 2008 1:16:11 GMT
For this exquisite match, we, the Schooner B, decided to celebrate playing Andy and I’s old team by dressing to the nines; to win or lose in style. (See website for pictures) This was a true Englishman’s game; Queensbury rules, gammi legs and genteel ladies. More over it was a true pleasure to see old faces once again. We started the game by opposing two young gentlemen, Ian and James.
Match 1
Grover bugger all. *James 2600
I started by declaring that if cheating were to be spotted, then the men would have to go take it outside and play by Queensbury rules. Thankfully they took heed and played and excellent match. It started by my having to spot the red for James about a million times, but he scored a fantastic break of 1760 which was well accepted by both teams. Grover wasted no time in scaring the opposition with a fantastic score of 23. James was truly running for the hills by that one. Grover proceeded then to cost himself the first (and not the last) 20p of the night by running through the white peg with the red ball. James then cuts it close by nipping the white and keeping his score. Once I scolded Grover for playing like a nonce he came back with a half decent score. James drops three balls down; a very good shot old boy. After this Grover begins to argue with me about how pegs he’s knocked down, he says two, I say one. We settle for two. That’s 40pence owed to the collection. James is put off by the bar and leaves the table 15 better off. Grover clips the black, knocking his score to zero and his wallet for 50p. James continuously aims the ball for the fifty hole whilst Grover struggles with the 200. Grover clips the black again and the game is over.
Grover cost for this game; 140p. (paid)
Match 2
*Jay 700 Nick 1140
This was a true Englishman’s game, keeping the score so low that for a good portion of the game their combined score never breached a grand. It wasn’t cricket I can tell you. Jay did the Schooner B break by dropping the red and leaving the white and decided that would be it for him. Nick put his best foot forward and racked up 14. A little later on, Jay knocks a ball into the hole, it jumps, and knocks it friend down knowing it is for the greater good of the game. He scores the highest so far, 20. Throughout this game, neither scored above twenty, each time returning to the table to take the lead. It was rather boring until the last, where Nick pulled out a stunning (for this match) 37. Last ballad n Jay decides not to foolishly risk the 200 hole as it would most likely cost him 50p. He learns from Grover’s mistakes. 2-0 to the visitors.
Match 3
Me 1510 *Ken 1560
(taken from both Jay’s memoirs and my memories)
Ken misses the break and I knock the red down the 100 hole. Woot I score 44. Ken pegs a white and I just skim by it lining up with the 30 beautifully and finish the go with 36. Ken does something so jay’s notes helpfully inform me and I do nothing in return. Ken drops the white into the 100 hole, followed by the red, then spectacularly drops three balls down. We accuse him off showing off in front of ladies such as myself and Zoey. Good show old bean. Any it boils down to me with one ball on the table and one at the ‘D’. I’m 8 down so I need to leave on ball up. We watch as ti tavels up past the 200 hole, past the 100, taps the ball between the 2 and the 1… and they both drop me in it to lose by 5 points.
None the less a good game. Beware Kenneth, you’ll find I will not make the same mistake when I play the return match. Still good game, well done ken.
3-0
Match 4
*Me & Grover 0 Jim & Rob 1990
It’s time for us to kick some Henty butt and we start with a brutal… 26. Jim comes and does some cracking shots and replies with 29. Rob pegs it inspiring Grover to score… well nothing. Jim pulls off another great set of shots leaving with 26. I think I score and Smoke on the Water comes blasting through the speaker system. Oh yeah good omen. Rob clears the table and returns to the break adding 70 to the visiting team’s score. I cost my self twenty pence by obliterating the white peg. (paid). Rob pegs himself and Grover gets going with a good score… but repeats previous mistakes and costs himself yet another twenty p. We’re 16 down so I go for the 200 hole.
Well I’m sure you can guess EXACTLY what I did.
Match 5
Zoey & Jay (wait till the end, this doubles is even more astounding than last time) *James and Nick 1450
We intro Zoey who is covering for our MIA captain (Had a spot of bother with his gammi leg – Well he actually went camping but Jay thought the other excuse would sound more impressive). James starts off by decimating our table – pulling and releasing the handle so quickly and fats that the entire thing moves and knocks down all three pegs. He owe us 90p when we meet him at the Henty. Anyway he scores something and Jay reclaims the break. Jay however misses a ball up the table and he’s scored precisely nothing. Nick does a great 10/2 but misses the same shot as Jay. The game continues in this manner, hardly anything being scored before Jay grabs himself 3. Quick tap it and leave! But no he battles on bravely for another 4 and leaves with 7. When he returns, the table punishes him for staying on and he owes 20p. James crosses the Henty into it’s grand, and then Nick adds to it by knocking down a white. On the issue of pegs, Zoey decided its in her way and plants it about an inch behind the spot. Good girl; only person in this match not to knock down a peg. It was a beautiful shot form a beautiful woman I must say.
Now here comes the embarrassing bit, despite some awesome shots, Jay and Zoey only actually manage to compile 17.
We are ashamed.
It settled down to a 5-0 victory to the Henty, and a well deserved clean slate. The table kept up its tradition of playing up by running a 14 minute game according the Ken’s watch, but the others, and matches since, seem to be ok. The food, as always was great. I highly recommend the sausages, although I caution you not to eat them with your gloves on, it only makes a mess.
Achievements
For the Henty – James 1760 break.
Schooner B – 1st 5-0 defeat
Jay&Zoey – 1st Double pairing, new lowest combined score (without a black peg).
Zoey – First Match
Schooner B – Only people to turn up looking, and playing, in posh attire.
Costs this game
Grover 180p (paid)
Hem 70p (Paid)
James 90p
Jay 20p (Paid)
Zoey Sweet FA
Match 1
Grover bugger all. *James 2600
I started by declaring that if cheating were to be spotted, then the men would have to go take it outside and play by Queensbury rules. Thankfully they took heed and played and excellent match. It started by my having to spot the red for James about a million times, but he scored a fantastic break of 1760 which was well accepted by both teams. Grover wasted no time in scaring the opposition with a fantastic score of 23. James was truly running for the hills by that one. Grover proceeded then to cost himself the first (and not the last) 20p of the night by running through the white peg with the red ball. James then cuts it close by nipping the white and keeping his score. Once I scolded Grover for playing like a nonce he came back with a half decent score. James drops three balls down; a very good shot old boy. After this Grover begins to argue with me about how pegs he’s knocked down, he says two, I say one. We settle for two. That’s 40pence owed to the collection. James is put off by the bar and leaves the table 15 better off. Grover clips the black, knocking his score to zero and his wallet for 50p. James continuously aims the ball for the fifty hole whilst Grover struggles with the 200. Grover clips the black again and the game is over.
Grover cost for this game; 140p. (paid)
Match 2
*Jay 700 Nick 1140
This was a true Englishman’s game, keeping the score so low that for a good portion of the game their combined score never breached a grand. It wasn’t cricket I can tell you. Jay did the Schooner B break by dropping the red and leaving the white and decided that would be it for him. Nick put his best foot forward and racked up 14. A little later on, Jay knocks a ball into the hole, it jumps, and knocks it friend down knowing it is for the greater good of the game. He scores the highest so far, 20. Throughout this game, neither scored above twenty, each time returning to the table to take the lead. It was rather boring until the last, where Nick pulled out a stunning (for this match) 37. Last ballad n Jay decides not to foolishly risk the 200 hole as it would most likely cost him 50p. He learns from Grover’s mistakes. 2-0 to the visitors.
Match 3
Me 1510 *Ken 1560
(taken from both Jay’s memoirs and my memories)
Ken misses the break and I knock the red down the 100 hole. Woot I score 44. Ken pegs a white and I just skim by it lining up with the 30 beautifully and finish the go with 36. Ken does something so jay’s notes helpfully inform me and I do nothing in return. Ken drops the white into the 100 hole, followed by the red, then spectacularly drops three balls down. We accuse him off showing off in front of ladies such as myself and Zoey. Good show old bean. Any it boils down to me with one ball on the table and one at the ‘D’. I’m 8 down so I need to leave on ball up. We watch as ti tavels up past the 200 hole, past the 100, taps the ball between the 2 and the 1… and they both drop me in it to lose by 5 points.
None the less a good game. Beware Kenneth, you’ll find I will not make the same mistake when I play the return match. Still good game, well done ken.
3-0
Match 4
*Me & Grover 0 Jim & Rob 1990
It’s time for us to kick some Henty butt and we start with a brutal… 26. Jim comes and does some cracking shots and replies with 29. Rob pegs it inspiring Grover to score… well nothing. Jim pulls off another great set of shots leaving with 26. I think I score and Smoke on the Water comes blasting through the speaker system. Oh yeah good omen. Rob clears the table and returns to the break adding 70 to the visiting team’s score. I cost my self twenty pence by obliterating the white peg. (paid). Rob pegs himself and Grover gets going with a good score… but repeats previous mistakes and costs himself yet another twenty p. We’re 16 down so I go for the 200 hole.
Well I’m sure you can guess EXACTLY what I did.
Match 5
Zoey & Jay (wait till the end, this doubles is even more astounding than last time) *James and Nick 1450
We intro Zoey who is covering for our MIA captain (Had a spot of bother with his gammi leg – Well he actually went camping but Jay thought the other excuse would sound more impressive). James starts off by decimating our table – pulling and releasing the handle so quickly and fats that the entire thing moves and knocks down all three pegs. He owe us 90p when we meet him at the Henty. Anyway he scores something and Jay reclaims the break. Jay however misses a ball up the table and he’s scored precisely nothing. Nick does a great 10/2 but misses the same shot as Jay. The game continues in this manner, hardly anything being scored before Jay grabs himself 3. Quick tap it and leave! But no he battles on bravely for another 4 and leaves with 7. When he returns, the table punishes him for staying on and he owes 20p. James crosses the Henty into it’s grand, and then Nick adds to it by knocking down a white. On the issue of pegs, Zoey decided its in her way and plants it about an inch behind the spot. Good girl; only person in this match not to knock down a peg. It was a beautiful shot form a beautiful woman I must say.
Now here comes the embarrassing bit, despite some awesome shots, Jay and Zoey only actually manage to compile 17.
We are ashamed.
It settled down to a 5-0 victory to the Henty, and a well deserved clean slate. The table kept up its tradition of playing up by running a 14 minute game according the Ken’s watch, but the others, and matches since, seem to be ok. The food, as always was great. I highly recommend the sausages, although I caution you not to eat them with your gloves on, it only makes a mess.
Achievements
For the Henty – James 1760 break.
Schooner B – 1st 5-0 defeat
Jay&Zoey – 1st Double pairing, new lowest combined score (without a black peg).
Zoey – First Match
Schooner B – Only people to turn up looking, and playing, in posh attire.
Costs this game
Grover 180p (paid)
Hem 70p (Paid)
James 90p
Jay 20p (Paid)
Zoey Sweet FA
