Jocks Stupid Questions Quiz

[Sir Jock o The Strap]

Have ago at answering these little gems my friends, extra points awarded for the stupidest answers!!!!!

1. If the sky's the limit, then whats the space, over the limit?
2. Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?
3. Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his cap Macaroni?
4. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think I'll squeeze those dangly bits and drink what comes out"?
5. Who was the first person to say "See that chicken over there.....I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of it's arse"?
6. If Electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
7. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
8. In that song 'she'll be coming round the mountain' who is she?
9. Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?
10. Can mute people burp?
11. If a fork was made of gold, would it still be considered silverware?
12. If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
13. Which way does a compass point in space?
14. Why do all super heroes wear spandex?
15. Why are Pringles curved?
16. Do movie producers still say, lights, camera, action if its a night/dark scence?
17. Did Noah have woodpeckers on the Ark, if so where did he keep them?
18. If I had my legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my drivers license?
19. If you were under house arrest, but lived in a mobile home, would you be able to go anywhere you want?
20. Why is Donkey Kong called DONKEY Kong when he is quite blatantly a monkey?

Have fun!!!!!! More later maybe!!!!!!!!

[Kevin Pringle (R.I.P.)]

15. Playing too much Bar Billiards :(

[barbelman]

Question 1 is SkyPlus :)

[Chris_Sav]

2) Most of my hangovers are like that.

4) Milko??

12) Temperature inversion layers.

3) Because it rhymes with Pony.

sav said:

12) Temperature inversion layers.

To elaborate on Sav's answer, an assumption is made that hell is 'down below' - but down below where ? In the core of our planet ?
It is more likely that 'bad souls' are transported off to some distant universe, a place where there is constant heat given off by nuclear fusion - so, like our own sun sending out heat constantly but generating its own heat, hell itself is never actually in any danger of freezing over.

These are good questions, Jock. What a sensible lad you are proving your self to be ! ;D
I'll have a crack at answering question 9.
9) Smooth objects like for example a pair of trousers have their own sheen, giving off reflective light. The introduction of water changes the surface of the material, affecting its pigmentation and dulling its ability to reflect light. Thus the 'damp patch' appears darker.

17) He kept the woodpeckers as far away from the deck as possible, somewhere up near the crow's nest. That way they would be 'lesser spotted'. ;D

[Kevin Pringle (R.I.P.)]

13. To the nearest gravity force, DOH thats a sensible answer !

18. Yes because if you didn't you wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

10) They do expel air, but inaudibly. Which leads to the linked question, "why do farts smell ?", the answer to which is "so that deaf people can also appreciate them fully."

kpringle said:

13. To the nearest gravity force, DOH thats a sensible answer !

But surely there is no gravitational pull in space.

I would imagine the compass would just go haywire, like it would at the Earth's (magnetic) north and south poles, in absence of any magnetic pull in a particular direction.

[Q]

Do stupid questions really warrant such sensible answers??

[milhouse]

1 - Heaven !
2 - Yes
3- Maybe he liked it with cheese ?
4 - Maybe he or she didn't pull it, but sucked on it like calves do ?
5 - Did he have to cross the road to get to the chicken ?
8 - Debbie from everyones favourite film ;) ;D
12 - So why is it cold in space ?
13 - depends where abouts you are in space in relation to the earth !
14 - because they are all secretly gay
15 - So they are easy to dip !
16 - yes as they still need light to see !
17 - in a steel cage
18 - Yes as your licence would be invalid and you could go to prison for false information - the other question is what hair colour do bald people put on their licence ?
19 - as long as you stayed in your mobile home ! but then its a mobile home, not a house...... so technically you couldn't be placed under house arrest if you don't live in a house !
20 - because he is hung like one !

q said:

Do stupid questions really warrant such sensible answers??

You're missing the point, Q.
This is a serious quiz (on stupid questions) on the official quiz board, and will be scored by Jock - who is being sensible for once - on the merits of the answers.
So of course they do ! ;D ;D ;D

[Kevin Pringle (R.I.P.)]

tommo said:

But surely there is no gravitational pull in space.

I would imagine the compass would just go haywire, like it would at the Earth's (magnetic) north and south poles, in absence of any magnetic pull in a particular direction.

Apologies to Q for making this sensible ;)

Of course there is gravitational pull in space, that is what creates all orbits of objects or planets, the earth is in the gravitational pull of the sun, the moon is in the same for the earth etc. Satellites have to be corrected all the time to not 'fall to earth'.

kpringle said:

Of course there is gravitational pull in space, that is what creates all orbits of objects or planets, the earth is in the gravitational pull of the sun, the moon is in the same for the earth etc. Satellites have to be corrected all the time to not 'fall to earth'.

Fair comment, it then becomes a question of by what mode the compass is travelling, if it's alone it would indeed be subject to gravitational pulls. But if it's compressed in a capsule along with the astronauts who can float up and down in almost zero gravity, the needle would surely go haywire as I have suggested.

[CraigC]

1. Infinity and beyond
2. No, but it can be grey and misty.
3. All his hats were made out of pasta. A man of honour, he once too often used the phrase "I'll eat my hat"
4. Tony Curtis
5. Eggelbert Humperdinck (the composer, not the sixties singer).
6. No, moronity comes from morons.
7. Alphabet soup is better suited for those with dyslexia.
8. Dolly the Sheep.

13. Don't know, but want to know why space craft always approach the earth "up the right way" in films - not as if flipping is a problem in space. Perhaps answers the compass question.
14. They are all frustrated rock stars.
15. Kevin has already answered this.

17. He kept them with the beavers, which he later had stuffed.
18. Only if your prosphetic legs (required for reaching pedals) were shorter then your original legs.
19. Yes, Jeremy Clarkson permitting.
20. Unsure, but why do those two animals not rhyme?

[ponytailguy]

ill have a crack at it

1. i think its called the upper triopisphere
2.yes but its not to common
3.because he did not like the sterotipical names givin to feathers at the time
4.the calf the cow just gave birth to
5.i belive it was mary queen of scots
6.no morality comes from a certian cynapse in the brain and morons come from inbreeding
7.they get the same great taste but dont have to worry when there soup spells out "ur gonna die" to them
8.chris deburgs wife
9.because water is racist
10.yes burping is not controled by the voice box but i think part of the sound when you burp is put on to give a fuller effect so it would not be as impressive
11.it depends what type of fork a gardening fork a cutlery fork a pitch fork cumon explain it a bit better jockx
12.i belive hell is a giant sphere so as more and more heat rises it gets push back down the sides of the sphere and thus creating a warming effect
13.i points where ever you tip it as there is no fix point in space and u will be most likly in a slow spin, even if there was a magnetic point in space because u are fixed in no way like you are on the ground it would only be affective a few seconds at a time and you would not know which few seconds it would be so the answer is no where.
14.to show off the supeior package.
15.because the market reseach team from it a good selling point among the people
16.because they still need some light to see what the fuck is goin on
17.i dont think he did as i think they evolved later in the world (o mr darwin we love you)
18.i depends if u have a drivers licnece and no becuase u could not drive any way.
19.no
20.because he is slightly lazyer then kong himself so they gave him the name donkey

that was fun wasent it boys. SHUT UP I AM ZEEBEDE OVER LORD OF ALL THAT YOU SEE. BOW DOWN, BOW DOWN NOW, HAHAHAHA

My God, you started something there, Jock.

Best of luck with sorting out the scores. I'd have a few Jack Daniels first. ;)

[ponytailguy]

dont be silly jock canny counta

[ponytailguy]

kpringle said:

tommo said:

But surely there is no gravitational pull in space.

I would imagine the compass would just go haywire, like it would at the Earth's (magnetic) north and south poles, in absence of any magnetic pull in a particular direction.

Apologies to Q for making this sensible ;)

Of course there is gravitational pull in space, that is what creates all orbits of objects or planets, the earth is in the gravitational pull of the sun, the moon is in the same for the earth etc. Satellites have to be corrected all the time to not 'fall to earth'.

but the point is magnitisim points a compass not gravity

ponytailguy said:

but the point is magnitisim points a compass not gravity

After a succession of arguing and bickering with KP on most things and trying to out-pedant him, I find I have to side with him on this one. Have a look at this :

www.gravityandspace.com/Gravity_at_Wor.html

We should think of the bigger picture of how objects attract each other with gravitational force, rather that think of North/South polarity on the compass magnet. Take your compass outside the earth's orbit and the needle will point at Earth - not just at its pole(s)- because of its huge mass, its gravitational pull outweighing the structure of its internal polarity. But whilst outside the influence of such a sphere, the pull would diminish and other influences could come into effect.

It is generally accepted by scientists that there exists such a thing as a gravity well permeating throughout space. Furthermore, part of Einsteins Theory of Relativity holds that (a) moving matter owns its own electrical field, whilst (b) space owns the magnetic field. So KP is right in that an 'unprotected' compass floating through space would be drawn to whatever influence - matter or otherwise, but I am right in that a compass on an astronauts wrist would be governed by negligible pull and would therefore point at random.

[ponytailguy]

very well put
Jock what have you done here

Einstein goes on to say that while a moving electron induces a magnetic field in space through which it travels, if an observer were to travel in tandem with that electron, at exactly the same velocity, he (the observer) would detect no magnetic field in the vicinity of space around the electron. Although the electrical field would persist.

Newton, Maxwell and Faraday are all good sources of reference in this particular field of study.

[Kevin Pringle (R.I.P.)]

I will refer to my well used saying for me, 'It is not often I am wrong but I am right again' :P ;D

[Sir Jock o The Strap]

Scores so far

Kevin Pringle only answered 13,15,18 so 60 pts
Barble man answered qustion 1 20pts
sav (2,4,12) 60pts
Tommo (3,9,17,10) 90pts (includes 10 bonus points for being anal)
Millhouse (all except 6-7) 280 pts
Craig C (all except 9,10,11,12,16) 310pts
PonyTailTwat (ALL ANSWERED) 415pts (includes 50 bonus points for answering all)
With reference to question 11, the more intelligent among us would gather from the question it's self that we are talking about cutlery fork, the clue is in the title ya twat!!!!!!!

[Sir Jock o The Strap]

ponytailguy said:

dont be silly jock canny counta

looks like a wee problem in the grammar and spelling department my little pony tailed friend!!!!!!!!

Thanks Jock.
Our quizzes rely on the person who sets each quiz being diligent in marking (- Lolly please note !).
In fact, Jock, you seem to have been overdiligent - in applying bar billiards scoring by means of using multiples of 10 only in your marking.
But not to worry, I'll exercise my discretion in the matter and the points will be consolidated into the Quiz-mania table forthwith.

tommo

[Sir Jock o The Strap]

Well me auld mucker

The scoring system I employed here was entirely based on how much chuckling I got from each answer, then applying that to various pockets value around the billiard table 10,20,30 etc.........!

Love the whole gravity v's magnetism debate, who would have thought it based on one stupid question. More to come I think, will leave this one up for a few more days I think though!!!!

You want more ?

Well it gives me a little opportunity to apply a bit of physics theory to our beautiful game of bar billiards:

Over the years there has been much debate over when a ball encroaching on a peg is returned to the tray: if a peg is knocked off its spot it is replaced immediately but only if it does not disturb the position of a ball during the break. Even if leaning.
At the end of the break if the ball is leaning on the peg or preventing it from being on its spot the ball is returned then.

But sometimes you see a scorer have a good look and say "it's touching but not leaning, so it doesn't come back". This is a load of tosh, and I call upon Sir Isaac Newton to tell you why.

According to Newton, material objects basically pull on each other, with a force that increases with the mass of these objects, and decreases with the distance between them. So if daylight can be seen between peg and ball - if you can get a fag paper between them, they are not touching, and the ball stays where it is. But if the objects are touching, the laws of physics say they must be leaning towards each other (even by 0.000000001 degrees to the perpendicular) in order to be making contact. So, quite simply, if the peg is touching the ball, it's also leaning - and the ball comes back !