|
|
Post by Colemanator on Dec 15, 2006 14:10:54 GMT
Ian (The Colemanator) Coleman 2780 pts
includes 130 pts for not knowing wot indiscriminate means
I aw I awta say looks like i've got the most indis(criminal)ate points :-/ ::) :D
|
|
|
|
Post by Sparky on Dec 15, 2006 15:35:32 GMT
Thanks Kev, suits the new tough, bright, serious me ..... 8-) ;D
well the Senior bit is right anyway :( :(
|
|
|
|
Post by Herr von Puebik on Dec 15, 2006 15:46:39 GMT
Yup the blue rinse looks good on you Sparky :-* ;D ;D ;D
.........and yes you do seem to have got your fair share of indiscriminal points Ian :P
|
|
|
|
Post by Sparky on Dec 15, 2006 16:06:31 GMT
Yup the blue rinse looks good on you Sparky :-* ;D ;D ;D :P Bl**dy cheek, just you wait Mr Happy Vino Person ??? ;D ;D |
|
|
|
Post by Kevin Pringle (R.I.P.) on Dec 15, 2006 19:08:37 GMT
Do I get bonus points for making you look younger in the avatar ;)
|
|
|
|
Post by Sparky on Dec 15, 2006 19:15:37 GMT
Do I get bonus points for making you look younger in the avatar ;) Not usually, as almost anything done would make me look younger 8-), but I'll ask Hair Vest Producer (Donkey or Ass are popular at the moment) for a special deal 'just for you', however as he is unpredictable it could all go wrong ;D ;D |
|
|
|
Post by Kevin Pringle (R.I.P.) on Dec 15, 2006 19:51:26 GMT
Found something that HVP might like for XMAS from his buddies to time his games, Ee Aw Ee Awta have one :D  Also got a new avatar for a Northants lad  |
|
|
|
Post by Sparky on Dec 15, 2006 19:54:40 GMT
Nice pair Kev ;)
|
|
|
|
Post by Herr von Puebik on Dec 15, 2006 20:09:16 GMT
I bet you say that to all the apprentice Masters :-* :-* :P |
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2006 22:43:43 GMT
And you think that Nobby had problems............
A newly promoted Captain was posted to a run-down British outpost in Iraq. On his tour of inspection he noticed a very old donkey standing dejectedly next to a rusty jeep without an engine and asked the Sergeant-major what the donkey was for.
"Well sir..", began the soldier hesitantly, "We're a very long way from civilization, and men have, er - um, needs, Sir..."
"What exactly do you mean, Sergeant. Spit it out man."
"Well Sir... when the lads get really desperate for a woman, they use the donkey."
"I see", replied the Captain with a cough. "If it keeps the men's peckers up, I suppose it's OK with me".
When he had been at the outpost for about a month he noticed the donkey was missing and stopped a soldier as he walked past his tent. "Tell me, Corporal Jones, where is the donkey tonight?"
"It's Private Smith's turn with the donkey this month Sah!"
The Captain thanked him and went back into his tent wishing he had a woman.
The next month he heard the donkey neighing loundly and stopped the corporal as he was passing his tent. "Tell me corporal, what's the donkey like?"
"Good as gold, Sah. We'd be lost without 'im."
"Yes - but what do the men actually DO with it?"
"Do Sah? The usual, Sah, you know..."
"Yes, but what exactly?"
"Well...we just climb on and it leads us to paradise, Sah."
The Captain was almost beside himself with excitement but managed to control himself and dismissed the corporal.
After three months he was so desperate for a woman he ordered the Sergeant-Major to fetch the donkey. The Sergeant-major shrugged his shoulders and led the sorry looking animal into the Captain's quarters. The Captain dropped his pants, stepped onto a stool and shagged the donkey so hard it collapsed. When he'd finished, he beckoned the Sergeant-major over and asked: "Is that how the men do it?"
"No sir, they usually ride the donkey into Paradise and shag the local women in the brothel."
|
|
|
|
Post by Q on Dec 18, 2006 16:47:35 GMT
Courtesy of Perry Como:
There's a song in the air,
But the fair senorita
doesn't seem to care
for the song in the air.
So I'll sing to my mule
if you're sure she won't think that
I am just a fool
serenading a mule.
Amigo mio, does she not have a dainty bray?
She listens carefully to each little word we play.
La bella Senorita?
Si, si, mi muchachito,
She'd love to sing it too if only she knew the way.
But try as she may,
in her voice there's a flaw!
And all that the lady can say
is E-E-AW!
There's a light in her eye,
Tho' she may try to hide it,
She cannot deny,
there's a light in her eye.
Oh! the charm of her smile
so beguiles all who see her
that they'd ride a mile
for the charm of her smile.
Amigo mio, is she listenin' to my song?
No, no, mi muchachito, how could you be so wrong?
La bella Senorita?
Si, Si, la senorita,
If she knew all the words,
Well, maybe she'd sing along . . .
Her face is a dream
like an angel I saw!
But all that my darlin' can scream
is: E-E-AW!
Senorita donkey sita, not so fleet as a mosquito,
but so sweet like my Chiquita,
you're the one for me.
You're . . . the one . . . for me!
|
|
|
|
Post by Q on Dec 18, 2006 16:56:23 GMT
I suppose that was milking it a bit .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..  |
|
|
|
Post by Sparky on Dec 18, 2006 16:57:29 GMT
I see Q is making a serious bid to outdo Tommo in making asses of themselves and so get more 'inappropriate' points...Perry Como indeed....how quaint ;D
and who took that photo of you with a strange bloke? ;D ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by Q on Dec 18, 2006 17:01:29 GMT
You must remember Graham... it was the day I had a squint in both eyes and you asked for a hand ;D
|
|
|
|
Post by Hammy on Dec 18, 2006 17:13:12 GMT
Have you managed to put the league tables together yet HVP? :)
|
|
|
|
Post by Herr von Puebik on Dec 18, 2006 17:20:08 GMT
The first weeks positions are on page 3 Jase your 3rd in Div 2 at the moment but I'm sure there will be a bit af a shuffle next week :P
|
|
|
|
Post by Q on Dec 18, 2006 17:27:33 GMT
|
|
|
|
Post by Sparky on Dec 18, 2006 17:34:22 GMT
You must remember Graham... it was the day I had a squint in both eyes and you asked for a hand ;D Your milking this one for all it's worth Bernie ;D ;D |
|
|
|
Post by Q on Dec 18, 2006 18:12:11 GMT
Pull the udder one Graham ;D
I think John (King) Lear should get Ee-Aw points for spilling Trevor's pint of mild last night.... and then offering to buy ME one to replace it..
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2006 18:18:26 GMT
The Donkey Serenade from The Firefly (1937) Oh, sorry - This isn't a quiz ? ;D |
|
|
|
Post by Herr von Puebik on Dec 18, 2006 18:22:03 GMT
The Donkey Serenade from The Firefly (1937)
Oh, sorry - This isn't a quiz ? ;D[/quote]
No but you do get points ;D ;D :P
|
|
|
|
Post by Colemanator on Dec 18, 2006 18:41:00 GMT
I kent believe the lengths that some will go to get lots of points ::)
I've done naff all and i'm top 8-) :-/
|
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2006 18:44:12 GMT
Well, as the Fonz would say, you've either got it or you ain't. ;)
|
|
|
|
Post by Herr von Puebik on Dec 19, 2006 11:39:13 GMT
:D and even if you aint you can still get points ;D ;D :P
|
|
nenecupper
Full Forum Member
A BETTER CAPTAIN THAN CHARLIE!! PROBABLY
Posts: 111
|
Post by nenecupper on Dec 19, 2006 16:37:03 GMT
;D 2137 points ;D
Must be time to start waiting for the red ball, chalking the cue and clogging the table...........oh sorry forgot where i was :-[
Braying, moi?
|
|
|
|
Post by barbelman on Dec 19, 2006 17:02:45 GMT
Five pages long and no-one has mentioned Don Quixote yet...... :-/
|
|
|
|
Post by Colemanator on Dec 19, 2006 17:29:34 GMT
Five pages long and no-one has mentioned Don Quixote yet...... :-/ Wasn't that somert to do with the two ronnies :-/ |
|
|
|
Post by barbelman on Dec 21, 2006 8:42:24 GMT
Five pages long and no-one has mentioned Don Quixote yet...... :-/ Wasn't that somert to do with the two ronnies :-/ Yeah... Ronnie Cervantes and Ronnie Sancho Panza..... ;D |
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 21, 2006 10:22:48 GMT
|
|
|
|
Post by Herr von Puebik on Dec 21, 2006 11:05:04 GMT
Dunno how you find these things Tommo but you should add infomeister to your signature ;D ;D Anyhoo I'll try and update positions tomorrow :P
|
|
