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Post by Sparky on Oct 7, 2006 9:03:24 GMT
I admit to having a weakness for historical facts. ;) When I was less than half your age I could recite all the kings and queens of England, together with the dates of their reigns, in order. ::) I think Tommo is trying to get 'Ye Olde Tarte' points in other threads to boost his 'Tallye' ;D Coo do I get extra for snitching too :D
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Post by Coleman Jnr on Oct 7, 2006 9:06:51 GMT
Since your a moderator doesnt that mean you get double snitching points.....?
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Post by Sparky on Oct 7, 2006 9:12:06 GMT
Since your a moderator doesnt that mean you get double snitching points.....? Sssh...everyone will want to be one if they all know ;) It seems Tommo is going all out to start up a Surrey section just so he could be a 'Mod' and get extra rations ;D
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jel
Distinguished Member
ian jellis
Posts: 949
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Post by jel on Oct 7, 2006 9:26:45 GMT
you should get paid with tart points jel you would be no good as a spy, the loud belch and belly would always give your position away ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D but still people act a tart in front of me. amazing that your one of those people stephen ::)
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Post by Deleted on Oct 7, 2006 9:27:49 GMT
It seems Tommo is going all out to start up a Surrey section just so he could be a 'Mod' and get extra rations ;D Already a Mod: still got my old Parka, and all the old Who records. ;)
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jel
Distinguished Member
ian jellis
Posts: 949
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Post by jel on Oct 7, 2006 9:29:48 GMT
also your charging much too much for your golf club throwing lessons stephen. :o maybe you should think about ladder hire to get the clubs back again ;D :o
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Roo "Convoy!!"
Full Forum Member
"Qualified Pond Diving Instructor!"
Posts: 140
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Post by Roo "Convoy!!" on Oct 7, 2006 14:41:19 GMT
:P Thanks Jel for sending me off alone into the dark, wet, windy night. I was picked up about three by the local fuzz and charged with sheep tampering. Apparently, the local farmer had reported a man wandering around Burton Latimer High Street with a mouth full of nuts, a suspicious smile on his face and sheeps breath. I thought it was supposed to be dogs breath, but I guess that's a different story! :o
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Post by Coleman Jnr on Oct 7, 2006 16:59:55 GMT
surely my old man should get some tart points after 3 times getting jel to get the trophy from the burton community centre, he found out the trophy was missing. he then happened to realise after worrying he had lost it that it was at home :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
no the ladder is included in the price jel... ;D
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Post by Deleted on Oct 7, 2006 19:06:14 GMT
A quick update on positions so far :P Tart Division One John (Admiral) Birch 7397 pts Kevin (Katie) Tunstall 5828 pts Roo (Convoy) Hare - 5565 pts Graham (Sparky) Sparksman 5382 Mark (Milhouse) Stretford End 5380 pts includes 600 pts for wearing Everton shirt Ian (Jel) Jellis 5259 pts Clive (Tommo) Thompson 4984 pts Ian (Colemanator) Coleman 4853 pts incl 103 indiscriminate pts for not knowing wot indiscriminate means Chris (Lolly) Lawman 4624 pts Bernie (Q) Lawrance 3985 pts Jason (Massive2) Neal 2848 pts Just to avoid the confusion caused by Q ::)when quoting the earlier list, which makes it look like I am the biggest tart, the list as updated yesterday by HVP is as above. Not sure whether or not I ought to mention the omission of points for all the times I have mentioned blue Everton shirts - as you can see it is now incorporated in my signature. Perhaps I'll keep shhtumm, as Roo appears to be able to take tartology on to a completely higher level at will - judging by his last offering. I ought to have realised from his name that he has Australian tendencies ! :o
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Post by Colemanator on Oct 7, 2006 19:45:49 GMT
Clive, are you obssesed with this, maybe you ought to consult proffesional help ;)
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Post by Deleted on Oct 7, 2006 20:23:54 GMT
Me and at least twenty others like me, Colemanator. ;)
This award is so prestigious, Milhouse has even suggested it qualifies for full ranking points as an Open ! 8-)
Some points for Ian, please, HVP........... ;D
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Post by Herr von Puebik on Oct 8, 2006 8:31:03 GMT
Roo is busy repairing the Tartometer today after it burnt out following a severe outbreak of Tartitis in the Thrapston area :o :o :o Jel didn't mind looking for the trophy as he had to go past the buffet table in the function room on the way and wos visibly putting on weight as the night went on ::) Lucky for Simon that it wasn't there as Jel wos going to get it engraved with The Kipling Award ;D ;D Unlucky for Simon is that he will probably join Stephen as joint Wallies of the Month :P
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Post by Coleman Jnr on Oct 8, 2006 12:43:45 GMT
Yer about that isnt looking good first month playing bar billiards and i get wally of the month....
although my dad was a vry close contender and if the trophy thing had happened earlier he would have one with flying colours especially with the cider throwing, see where i get the golfing technique from cant you ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by Deleted on Oct 8, 2006 19:02:27 GMT
My sources reveal that a Kipling award 'spy' was deposited at Reading today in the form of Jelly. Could be points allocated for football shirts - West Ham especially unless KW went against form. And for Jel himself for any 'minesweeping' that he may have managed. ;)
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jel
Distinguished Member
ian jellis
Posts: 949
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Post by jel on Oct 8, 2006 21:19:10 GMT
indeed i was there in my role as spy and all points will be reported to hvp on monday night. just have to wait and see how he deciedes to award them on tuesday morning ;) i bet i'll get a few myself as i was grassed up for beer juggling while scoring ;D
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Post by Herr von Puebik on Oct 9, 2006 6:26:45 GMT
Looking forward to that Jel ;D I read in the local paper Saturday that Thrapston are recognising the recent achievements of the Colemans and are using them in an advertising campaign to improve local retail trade :o They have re-arranged the letters in the town sign to read Tart 'n' Shop :P
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Post by Deleted on Oct 9, 2006 9:28:52 GMT
On the same theme, I have some suggestions for the re-naming of Burton Latimer :
1. turmoil banter 2. minor rebuttal 3. labium torrent 4. untrim bloater 5. matron rebuilt
ooooooooh matron ! ;D
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Post by triplex on Oct 9, 2006 11:47:33 GMT
Dont know quite sure how Mick found about your lager juggling event jel, must of been a secret spy!!! ::)
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Post by triplex on Oct 9, 2006 11:50:59 GMT
Yeah thanks for that Mick...... Bit annoyed over that actually, cause me keep buying the The Sport every day to see if it had reached the nationals :P.... But nothing yet.......Still just keep buying it then... just in case!!! ;)
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Post by Herr von Puebik on Oct 11, 2006 12:36:35 GMT
Just a general update following Reading and the Coleman antics
Tart Division One
Lizzie (I'm a proper lady) Jellis 9279 pts Ian (Lager Juggling Jel) Jellis 8959 pts Seen dropping his lager at Reading by everybody Mark (Milhouse) Stretford End 8880 pts includes 600 pts for wearing Everton shirt Clive (Tommo) Thompson 7984 pts Roo (Convoy) Hare - 7965 pts Ian (Colemanator) Coleman 7856 pts incl 103 indiscriminate pts for not knowing wot indiscriminate means Bernie (Q) Lawrance 7585 pts Extra points for eating sarnies in car at Reading (cheers Jel) Crown & Anchor (Northampton) table 7429 pts Cunning (Leigh) Gus 7428 pts John (Admiral) Birch 7397 pts Kevin (Katie) Tunstall 6828 pts Graham (Sparky) Sparksman 5882 Chris (Lolly) Lawman 5624 pts Fazza + Elsie 5120 pts Points added for being called Elsie
Tart Division 2
Jason (Massive2) Neal 3248 pts Simon (Trophy Hunter) Coleman 3132 pts Stephen (Club Hurler) Coleman 2863 pts Charlie (Peelmeister) Peel 2739 Glenn (Air Guitar) Chubb 1971 pts (seen playing at Reading by Jel) Vernon (Tart of the day) Sparkes 1830 pts Keith (Milko) Sheard 1478 pts Paul (Pratnav) Jellis 1275 pts Chocolate (Chocie ) Tart 1254 pts Mike (MrMike007) Holmewood 1236 pts Johnny (The Split) George 1233 pts Derek (Evertonian type shirt) Taylor 1201 pts Steve (Mario) Mariner 850 pts Mick (Herr von Puebik) Loake 116 pts
I've bound to have missed someone :P
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Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2006 13:57:17 GMT
I've bound to have missed someone :P Looks as if you've got it pretty well buttoned down there, Mick. But with another eleven months to run, eventual scores of 20k + seem likely. :o
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jel
Distinguished Member
ian jellis
Posts: 949
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Post by jel on Oct 11, 2006 14:01:14 GMT
looks like you got everyone this time mick. ;) i take it you changed your mind about giving tart points to the c&a table to make it the first non human except milhouse to get points ;) ;D
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Post by Herr von Puebik on Oct 11, 2006 14:09:19 GMT
You are a Tart Jel :-/ The C & A table is 4th in the 1st Div which is better than the C & A players have done for many a year ;D ;D And, no I didn't modify the post, they were already there :P By the way I take you've gone home because it's raining you poor little sugar mouse ;D ;D
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jel
Distinguished Member
ian jellis
Posts: 949
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Post by jel on Oct 11, 2006 14:13:32 GMT
didn't see that :o more points for me then. :o had to get home early, football tonight, the rain just gave me the perfect excuse ;D
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Post by Herr von Puebik on Oct 11, 2006 14:19:49 GMT
I'll let you off this time Jel ;) It should be close this season between the C&A table and the Frig & Fondler table which we still have the pleasure of playing on this season :(
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Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2006 14:20:12 GMT
You could have started a trend there............for Kipling tables. Anyone playing on a Kipling table gets its current points as a handicap start, so anyone playing 'Crown green bowls' on the Crown & Anchor would get 7430 at the moment. ;) Sounds very fair to me.
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Post by Herr von Puebik on Oct 11, 2006 14:24:12 GMT
It might help with the away averages as well :D
PS I changed my mind about letting you off Tart points Jel :P
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jel
Distinguished Member
ian jellis
Posts: 949
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Post by jel on Oct 11, 2006 14:28:46 GMT
what a suprise ::) not like you to change your mind ;D
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Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2006 15:02:06 GMT
No-one apart from Stretford End was wearing a football shirt then ? Thought there might have been 2 Chelski, 1 Fulham and 1 West Ham from Surrey B alone. ::)
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Post by Herr von Puebik on Oct 11, 2006 15:17:54 GMT
I never had any reports of footy shirts and the only shorts at the competition were drunk except for a couple of vertically challenged players who were a bit tiddly and a pair of shorts Q had in the boot of his car :o :o :o
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