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Post by Herr von Puebik on Oct 5, 2006 11:11:38 GMT
Sorry Si I forgot about Stephen :-/ As he's the only person I've heard of getting thrown off a golf course for dangerous shots on the putting green he takes his rightful position in Division 2 ::)
PS Did he get his club back from the roof of the clubhouse ;D ;D
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Post by triplex on Oct 5, 2006 15:40:46 GMT
Yeah, he asked the man next to him politely if he would remove it from his forehead!!! :o
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Post by triplex on Oct 5, 2006 15:46:52 GMT
Forgot bout ya teeth Jel, did you manage to get them glued back in!!!!! ::)
It was a good forearm though ;D
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jel
Distinguished Member
ian jellis
Posts: 949
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Post by jel on Oct 5, 2006 16:17:13 GMT
i think there actually straighter now ;D
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Post by Sparky on Oct 5, 2006 16:22:57 GMT
Are you sure the sheep didn't have torches :o :o :o Yes they did but they use them like runway lights ;D and all was going well until Tommo & Co arrived :(
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Post by Q on Oct 5, 2006 19:07:18 GMT
A quick update on positions so far :P Tart Division One Clive (Tommo) Thompson 7984 pts John (Admiral) Birch 7397 pts Bernie (Q) Lawrence 6985 pts Kevin (Katie) Tunstall 5828 pts Graham (Sparky) Sparkes 5382 Ian (Jel) Jellis 5259 pts Ian (Colemanator) Coleman 4853 pts incl 103 indiscriminate pts for not knowing wot indiscriminate means Chris (Lolly) Lawman 4624 pts Mark (Milhouse) Stretford End 4480 pts includes 600 pts for wearing Everton shirt Jason (Massive2) Neal 2848 pts Tart Division 2 Charlie (Peelmeister) Peel 2739 Vernon (Tart of the day) Sparkes 1830 pts Simon (Cider Juggler) Coleman 1632 pts Keith (Milko) Sheard 1478 pts Mike (MrMike007) Holmewood 1236 pts Johnny (The Split) George 1133 pts Stephen (Club Hurler) Coleman 1083 pts Leigh (Ideal) Holmes 1078 pts Steve (Mario) Mariner 850 pts Paul (Pratnav) Jellis 849 pts Fazza + Asbo 120 pts Mick (Herr von Puebik) Loake 115 pts Roo (Convoy) Hare - 935 pts (minus) Let me know if I've forgotten anyone :P Be nice if you learnt how to spell my name.... after all it was on the scorecard that you carried so admirably during the Bucks open!!!! Bernie (Q) LawranceJust you wait 'til the next time Also who is Graham Sparkes???????
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Post by Q on Oct 5, 2006 19:24:03 GMT
Oh NO..... the sheep are turning into cows, someone get Tommo a pair of steps.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2006 20:30:23 GMT
Herr van Puebik :
Some points to be deducted, I think for Bernie "call me by my proper name" Lawrance and Graham "call me by my proper name" Sparksman. ::)Tarts ! ::)
Perhaps any points taken off could be handed to Roo, for some determined efforts recently.
tommo Exiles Tarts honorary member - Surrey division.
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Post by Q on Oct 5, 2006 21:50:39 GMT
Hang about.... Who's running this award????? I think that tart Tommo is getting above his station (Ifield) and it should be HE who has HIS points deducted for trying to tell our illustrious HVP how to award points.
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Post by Q on Oct 5, 2006 21:54:08 GMT
I must now grovel to Mr wacky pubic herr.. 'cos I jus' did wot I wus complainin' that Tommo did.
Sorry O Curly One
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2006 22:15:02 GMT
Shut up, you tart ! One thing you should be aware of is my 'special status'. Quote : The only spies I've got are Kipling Mince Spies with the exception of Tommo
I'm a fully paid up member of the Exiles Tarts (South-eastern wing) and serve in an advisory capacity. 8-) To avoid undue aggro for my guv'nor I'm willing to recommend that whatever points are deducted can be restored as a) you have criticised the administration and b) moderators earn double points. :P Sparky also gets his back as a moderator - and although he hasn't levelled any criticism, scores for confusing sheep with dogging. :P
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Post by Q on Oct 5, 2006 22:28:51 GMT
Took you a long time to post that one Clive, I was sitting here watching you, watching this thread, waiting with bated breath for the witticisms (sic) they sure took a long time coming, but I suppose at your age you're lucky to come at all ;D
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Post by Herr von Puebik on Oct 6, 2006 7:23:18 GMT
Roo sent me a message last night to tell me it wos pointing south and shaking uncontrollably :o now I've read the last threads I realise he wos talking about his Tartometer and not inviting me round to help with his plumbing ::) It would appear that some of the Surrey lot are revolting ??? I think I spelt Q right and I wos just trying to correct the obvious spelling mistake that had been made on Bernie's birth certificate with the surname :-/ Apologies to Graham :-[ You're not Vernons brother then ;) Anyhoo you did make some points but mine are the ones that count and I've taken 3000 off Q & Tommo and given them to Roo :P
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2006 7:57:06 GMT
mine are the ones that count and I've taken 3000 off Q & Tommo and given them to Roo :P Result ! ;D 8-)
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Post by milhouse on Oct 6, 2006 9:08:29 GMT
Who's going to be the spy on Sunday ? Just want to know whether its worth wearing my Everton shirt again to get some more points ??? ;D
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2006 9:30:55 GMT
Well, Q will be there (he's captaining the new Sussex 'B'). He can take over my duties if he likes, but will need to act with diplomacy as there will also be real laydees present. ;)
Mark my words that there will be two late entries into the foray - Keith Wilkinson and Richard Plaw. These guys are anybody's after just one glass of shandy ! ;D ;D ;D
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Post by Herr von Puebik on Oct 6, 2006 10:10:00 GMT
Milhouse you get extra points for mentioning Everton shirts ::)
Looking forward to some possible new recruits on Sunday :P
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Post by milhouse on Oct 6, 2006 11:00:46 GMT
Milhouse you get extra points for mentioning Everton shirts ::) Cool, will add it to my signature - get points for every post i make ;D ;D
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Roo "Convoy!!"
Full Forum Member
"Qualified Pond Diving Instructor!"
Posts: 140
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Post by Roo "Convoy!!" on Oct 6, 2006 11:55:07 GMT
:o Hang on HVP! I was doing 'exceedingly' well propping up the bottom of Division 2. Those 3,000 points put me top. I'm revolting now and will spike your drinks tonight with mine!. That's normal though isn't it???? ::)
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Post by Herr von Puebik on Oct 6, 2006 12:06:33 GMT
Have you got your mittens on Roo cos it's 6000 pts added :o 3000 from Q + 3000 from Tommo + I've added another 500 pts for whinging and threatening behavior putting you in 3rd place in the 1st Div ;D
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Post by Deleted on Oct 6, 2006 12:07:41 GMT
Milhouse you get extra points for mentioning Everton shirts ::) Cool, will add it to my signature - get points for every post i make ;D ;D Yep, I've just cottonned on to that one, too ! ;D 8-) ;D :) ;)
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Post by Herr von Puebik on Oct 6, 2006 12:13:37 GMT
Strangely enough 'Lost causes' and Everton shirts seem to go well together :o One may say a good example of an oxymoron ;D ;D
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Roo "Convoy!!"
Full Forum Member
"Qualified Pond Diving Instructor!"
Posts: 140
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Post by Roo "Convoy!!" on Oct 6, 2006 13:01:31 GMT
:o hvjfvjhshuogqore These ebeb mittens hjbvvh make hbfvhfh456bbb it bjbjhb bloody cfgsaghgh45gggg6 hard jhfdbbjhbcbbcjh56544 to gcvcghscdsvctypegsgvgsgsgsyouhvcdvvsx7777bbxs* tart !%&* ; :-/
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Post by milhouse on Oct 6, 2006 13:10:12 GMT
Strangely enough 'Lost causes' and Everton shirts seem to go well together :o One may say a good example of an oxymoron ;D ;D >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(
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Post by Herr von Puebik on Oct 6, 2006 15:04:37 GMT
This should cheer you up Milhouse I've found a video of the Everton goalkeeper
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Post by Sparky on Oct 6, 2006 16:18:21 GMT
Apologies to Graham :-[ You're not Vernons brother then ;) No problem HVP :) and I don't think Vernon is related but you never know could be an 'exceedingly' distant cousin (bonus points for plagiarism ? ;D) I'm not surprised the Tartometer is pointing south and reacting (similar to aging problems ;D) as Tommo and Q obviously have too much time and too little of something else ;D
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jel
Distinguished Member
ian jellis
Posts: 949
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Post by jel on Oct 7, 2006 7:25:54 GMT
i think roo should get extra points for walking home last night. ;) never wants a lift when there room for him, prefers his chilli nuts for company ;) ;D
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Post by Coleman Jnr on Oct 7, 2006 8:19:51 GMT
I think jel should get some for trying to get roo some, snitching is what a real tart would do ;D
Do i get any extra for wally of the month
i want to get promoted :Dl
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jel
Distinguished Member
ian jellis
Posts: 949
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Post by jel on Oct 7, 2006 8:44:15 GMT
i'm allowed to snitch, i'm one of hvp's top spys ;D
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Post by Coleman Jnr on Oct 7, 2006 8:46:48 GMT
you should get paid with tart points
jel you would be no good as a spy, the loud belch and belly would always give your position away ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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