|
Post by Sparky on Nov 13, 2006 19:09:30 GMT
When Sav wears 'shorts like that' you can't see if he's wearing a thermal vest too ;D ;D ;D
|
|
Roo "Convoy!!"
Full Forum Member
"Qualified Pond Diving Instructor!"
Posts: 140
|
Post by Roo "Convoy!!" on Nov 13, 2006 19:16:07 GMT
"Roo" and "Lounge" go very well together. Must visit this heavenly place when I am in Jersey next month. Remind me Tommo, was the venue Hotel Ommaroo in St Helier?
|
|
|
Post by Sparky on Nov 13, 2006 19:37:14 GMT
"Roo" and "Lounge" go very well together. Must visit this heavenly place when I am in Jersey next month. Remind me Tommo, was the venue Hotel Ommaroo in St Helier? Yes, you got it Roo, but watch out for empty Kipling packets as discarded by Tommo, I have one as evidence in my possession and some photo's, taken in Roo's Lounge with the packet, will be posted in due course. Although they may be disturbing due to the state of the people involved - I have seen them on the camera already :o.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2006 20:05:26 GMT
Sorry Tommo can't read the Red/Blue very well, either my eyes or my monitor :) The truth's out.......Sparky keeps one of these as a pet : Keeps getting in the way, does it, Sparky? ;D After what Roo pointed out, methinks it may be a "Lounge Lizard" misappropriated from Roo's Lounge. ;)
|
|
|
Post by Sparky on Nov 13, 2006 20:22:16 GMT
Nah mine came from school and clips on my lapel ;D
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2006 20:30:40 GMT
Nah mine came from school and clips on my lapel ;D Ah, he's the milk monitor ! Perhaps if you sent him off to help milko on his rounds you'd be able to read better. ;) Or just tell me what colour scheme would be better than blue/red and I'll amend it for you.
|
|
|
Post by Sparky on Nov 13, 2006 20:50:18 GMT
Be very afraid Tommo......as I might be persuaded to tell Margo a thing or two about Jersey, hee hee hee!
Red is OK, just, but the Blue is almost bad enough to sing about ;D.
Anyway I couldn't keep up with Milko, playing BB or delivering pinta's 8-)
You would have made 3 posts out of this to boost your tally ;D ;D ;D
|
|
margo
Full Forum Member
"People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life." Faith Resnick
Posts: 187
|
Post by margo on Nov 13, 2006 21:03:18 GMT
Be very afraid Tommo......as I might be persuaded to tell Margo a thing or two about Jersey, hee hee hee! what's that supposed to mean, are you trying to stir things up between a wife and her loving husband ? tee hee
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2006 21:23:44 GMT
Red is OK, just, but the Blue is almost bad enough to sing about ;D. Have amended colour scheme, if only to prevent you singing. ;)
|
|
|
Post by Q on Nov 13, 2006 23:10:04 GMT
Jock for his well earned new nickname 'No CD' (story to follow when I've stopped laughing) ;D I can only guess that when he was asked to score.... his reply was NoCan Do or was that when anyone asked who's round it was ;D Hope you enjoyed it Jock and come join us Tarts in here
|
|
|
Post by Q on Nov 13, 2006 23:13:17 GMT
BTW Is this the cat that all you tarts saw at the end of each (teetotal) evening in Jersey?
|
|
|
Post by Q on Nov 13, 2006 23:19:56 GMT
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2006 23:40:10 GMT
As there seems a bit of interest from some quarters, perhaps I ought to share my notes of possible Kipling incidents that were racked up during the course of the weekend. H/V/P can then draw on these at will. I have divided into two categories, our own Mid Sussex party, and observations from elsewhere.
a) possible points for the Mid Sussex party members:
JOCK (AKA RICHARD JEFFREY) 1.The Car Radio/"No CD"/"Mute" incident which Sparky will eulogise upon. :-X 2.Accusing tommo of snoring (yes before you ask we shared a twin room with separate beds): whereas he displayed an uncanny ability to fall asleep at a moments notice (and do the same) rather like the cartoon possum. 8-) 3.Drinking several bars dry of Jack Daniels and returning completely wrecked at 3am every night at the earliest. :o 4.Letting me make all the tea even after an offer to do it on the final day. >:(
TOMMO 1.Playing the first two tournament rounds under the name of Clare on the scorecards (to the extreme amusement of Nigel Bisson) and being obliged to prove his true identity by displaying named socks on the Sunday when checking in at the admin desk. 2.Allegedly volunteering to score only games in which ladies involved in the hope of gaining a glimpse of cleavage as they leant forward to play a shot. 3.Smuggling Mr Kipling cakes into the hotel room. 4.Caught by Jock in the act of watching Strictly Come Dancing. 5.Taking on all comers at chess on the final evening (note: not whilst completely sober) but playing like a tart in one game, losing the queen before managing to turn the game round.
SPARKY 1.Playing a nasty trick on Jock and laughing so much while driving - causing tears to stream from his eyes - that he nearly mounted the kerb. ;D 2.Perpetually repeating the ruse to anyone who would listen. ::)
GORDON BRETT 1.Mixing his drinks (Lager/jack daniels/whisky) then wondering why he was hung over next day. ::) 2.Taking advantage of the barmaid's offer of a hug by burying his face in her cleavage. :P
ANDY FARMER-WRIGHT 1.Abusing the diet imposed on him by his wife by eating copious amounts of breakfast toast with thickly-spread butter, then asking for more toast and yet more toast. :P 2.Falling over the garden gates and blundering about corridors at four in the morning. :o 3.Needing an equally drunk Scotsman to show him which was his room. :o
ROB DRIVER For eating half a cow with chips, tomatoes and beans at the Seymour Inn and then sneezing over everyone else's dinner. >:(
JOHN LEAR can't think of anything at the moment but I'm working on it.
......And we won't mention young Kevin's trick last year of falling into the Lido. ;D
b) possible points for Non-party members
SAV 1.Turning up as threatened wearing a pair of khaki shorts, and was apparently virtually set upon by a couple of old ladies who felt up his knees (ooh young man, young man !) and from whom he had to make his escape. :o 2.Turning up later in a battered IOM TT Races hat, hoping no doubt to have his bumps felt by more old ladies. ;D
FAZZA Looking up to the gods when missing a single shot as if he were the unluckiest man on earth, with his Plate game won with 8k already on the board. ::)
MILHOUSE Generally showing off his bar billiards talent in his first Jersey experience and not daring to wear his Everton shirt which remained unpacked for the entire duration. :-/
MILKO Getting over-excited whilst on a 12k break in the Semi-Final and doing the equivalent of dropping a full pint of milk, poor fellow. :(
AUNTIE PAULINE For her admission of being a Forum 'lurker' - but is exonerated by claiming to be an avid follower of the 'Kipling Stakes'. :o 8-)
TUPPS For wearing a teashirt more outrageous than one of tommo's - it had Orgasm Machine on, or something. ::)
JEAN OVER (aka the Bacardi machine) Well, what can I say ? Saw a side to Jean I didn't know existed. Pretended to be able to play chess while obviously pissed, and actually made more sense of the game than some of the people who actually knew how to play. :-*
|
|
|
Post by milhouse on Nov 13, 2006 23:41:57 GMT
Just a quick note to let you that Tart points galore were in evidence in Jersey, by past masters and some natural newbies (they didn't have a clue what was happening!). some quickies before Tommo fills several pages with details ;D ;D ;D... Tommo for playing chess while everyone else was getting plastered.. :-/ Sav for his shorts :-[ Tommo's new nickname Claire, as used on the tournament lists instead of Clive. :P Tommo for his socks (especially the ones with Clive printed all over when we were calling him Claire) ::) Don't forget Sav's hat aswell as his shorts, plus marking a game while wearing them, if that didn't put the players off.... ps, great to meet you Sparky :)
|
|
|
Post by milhouse on Nov 13, 2006 23:44:50 GMT
Well, Tart points aside, here's a brief resumee of how people on the Kipling List performed in the actual World Championships : Mark (Milhouse) Stretford End - World Pairs Semi-finalist and Plate Quarter-finalist, showing off as per usual. >:( >:( IT WAS THE PLATE SEMI-FINAL THANK YOU VERY MUCH >:( >:( ;D :) :D
|
|
|
Post by milhouse on Nov 13, 2006 23:55:57 GMT
MILHOUSE Generally showing off his bar billiards talent in his first Jersey experience and not daring to wear his Everton shirt which remained unpacked for the entire duration. :-/ I'm so sorry, i will not attempt to play well in the future :(
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2006 23:58:52 GMT
Sorry Mark, I did actually see the game and it was indeed the Semi and you fell to the eventual winner Mark Turner. Well done ! 8-)
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2006 0:00:18 GMT
I'm so sorry, i will not attempt to play well in the future :( Well, I'll try and keep you to that if ever you have to play me. ;)
|
|
Roo "Convoy!!"
Full Forum Member
"Qualified Pond Diving Instructor!"
Posts: 140
|
Post by Roo "Convoy!!" on Nov 14, 2006 12:24:49 GMT
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2006 13:32:23 GMT
Nice one, Roo. Bobbing bobcat is the best I can manage after six goes. The granddaughters will love this..... 8-)
|
|
|
Post by Chris_Sav on Nov 14, 2006 15:18:29 GMT
SAV 1.Turning up as threatened wearing a pair of khaki shorts, and was apparently virtually set upon by a couple of old ladies who felt up his knees (ooh young man, young man !) and from whom he had to make his escape. 2.Turning up later in a battered IOM TT Races hat, hoping no doubt to have his bumps felt by more old ladies. Chroist that was scary, Grab a Grandad took on a whole new meaning!! They were certainly not shy checking my inside leg measurement from the inside of my shorts!! :o That was after I had to retrace my Tuesday pissup on Wednesday to find which pub I had left the hat in (shame ;D) Also got Pacman (Chris Gent) to down in one a tot of the hot chilli chilli vodka in the Lamplighters whilst pretending to drink it myself. The sight of old cast iron guts going all sorts of colours and disappearing to the bog at speed will remain with me for years. It actually stopped him talking for at least ten minutes. That's quite something, ask Vinny Mitchell ;D Also got Rob Driver to inform Vinny of the entire history of the model racing car. Vinny still hasn't forgiven me. ;D Seems like we missed some of the fun at the Normandie, it was decidedly flat there this year. I am also told by our leader that he is not pleased with my interference with his rankings, We may have to start a save the 'Distinguished Tart' campaign. Sav.
|
|
|
Post by Sparky on Nov 14, 2006 17:58:11 GMT
Be very afraid Tommo......as I might be persuaded to tell Margo a thing or two about Jersey, hee hee hee! what's that supposed to mean, are you trying to stir things up between a wife and her loving husband ? tee hee Sorry Margo but Tommo paid the bribe instantly so I can't let on, unless your bid is better of course.....I can see a future in this negotiating business ;D ;D
|
|
|
Post by Sparky on Nov 14, 2006 18:04:28 GMT
Red is OK, just, but the Blue is almost bad enough to sing about ;D. Have amended colour scheme, if only to prevent you singing. ;) Ah ha, the ruse worked again, and the Yellow is so much more fashionable, don't you know :D
|
|
|
Post by Sparky on Nov 14, 2006 18:37:46 GMT
JOCK (AKA RICHARD JEFFREY) 1.The Car Radio/"No CD"/"Mute" incident which Sparky will eulogise upon. :-X SPARKY 1.Playing a nasty trick on Jock and laughing so much while driving - causing tears to stream from his eyes - that he nearly mounted the kerb. ;D 2.Perpetually repeating the ruse to anyone who would listen. ::) OK, OK, I'll tell it again, you only had to ask ;D One evening I was driving our 6 seater between Pubs, that happened to have BB tables of course, when Jock decided to play with the radio. He was making a right mess of it for a while and I decided to 'help' him by using the controls on the steering wheel. Well I reckoned he would suss it out immediately, but no, so every time he did something I pushed a button too. The more frustrated he became the more I laughed and it wasn't long before I had tears streaming down my face and stomach cramps from laughing and I think the others had guessed what was going on too. As a radio/CD player we kept getting a 'No CD' display come up and after a while Jock shouted "I know there's no f**king CD" and I should have stopped the car as I couldn't see the road for laughing. Muting the radio was another favourite. Eventually he switched the radio off in disgust, but within a minute or so switched it back on saying "I'm not going to be beaten by a heap of Italian sh*t" (Fiat Multipla). So I let him tune it in for once (Radio 1) then switched it to mute again, he nearly exploded, but within a minute or so he suddenly asked if I had controls too? and when I said yes you can imagine the choice words he gave me. Being the type he is, Jock could see the funny side and doesn't begrudge us 15 minutes of fun.....well not unless you believe the threat he made of getting even :-/ He is the most natural Tart I know and could easily go to the top without even trying or knowing. Seriously I would like to thank Jock for making me laugh so much not just this incident but the whole time, he is great company :D
|
|
|
Post by Sparky on Nov 14, 2006 19:36:25 GMT
Don't forget Sav's hat aswell as his shorts, plus marking a game while wearing them, if that didn't put the players off.... ps, great to meet you Sparky :) Oh so right Milhouse, Sav was blatantly tarting and seems to be getting better at it ;D ;D I hope to see you again soon :)
|
|
|
Post by Herr von Puebik on Nov 15, 2006 7:39:34 GMT
OK you neglected Tarts I think there's enough ammunition there after Jersey ;D I'll try and get a few minutes later to update :P
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Nov 15, 2006 10:28:47 GMT
Excellent resumee, Sparky.
'Twas indeed a brilliant wheeze, well orchestrated. It is a wicked trait of human nature that the more angry and frustrated one person gets over a trivial matter, the funnier it appears to others.
Poor Jock never lived that one down as was constantly referred to as "No CD" or "Mute" by all and sundry for the remainder of the holiday: He has threatened vengeance once he gets his home computer sorted out and is able to go on-line.
A real character, a genuine nice guy and exactly the same whether drunk or sober. 8-)
|
|
Owners' Account
Distinguished Member
Main Adminstration account
Forum Owners Account
Posts: 679
|
Post by Owners' Account on Nov 15, 2006 17:50:46 GMT
Hello everyone....
Those that do know me, well I'm sure you love me, and those that do not know me..... well, you should love me from afar.
I remember a long while ago a certain person coming up to me and saying "Hey, what about a Nothants section on your website Glenn" I thought to myself "sure, not much to moderate there surly"...
And then I read all this...
My brain is spinning around.
Naturally as forum owner I have to come out and ask what all this is about, but I'm not sure that;s a wise idea increase I get asked to attend a tartfest, be given tart points or become overly tarted up myself. so I will just keep this short and sweet... there are only two things I have to say....
1. How long is this thread going to go on for as I'm sure Proboards are wondering why there bandwidth use on there American mainframe has been tarted to death, if someone could try and bring this thread to a close at some point, you would have much appreciation from your forum owner and can consider yourself a true tart...
2. I have decided that given your outstanding efforts that when this thread does close, it will be moved to the illustrious "forum Hall Of Fame" and become only the second induction in this forums history where it can be remembered and honored by tarts for many years to come...
See you all soon..... and thank you for giving me an insite into the world of your local Bar Billiards League :) :)
|
|
|
Post by Herr von Puebik on Nov 15, 2006 18:11:47 GMT
Tart :P Now if you'd been paying attention Glenn you would know that you are (until tomorrow at least) 7th in Div 2 with 1971 pts :o :o But yes I agree there must be an end to it so I'll give it some thought ...................ummmmmm...............................ummmmmmmmmmm.....yes.... very soon........I'll get back to you :P
PS apologies to the US ::)
|
|
|
Post by Q on Nov 15, 2006 18:22:38 GMT
Local??? LOCAL??? LOCAL???How local is Northants Glenn??? The tarts are WORLDWIDE (well England wide at least) ;D Points deduction HVP for not being able to read a map ;)
|
|