petem
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Post by petem on Sept 27, 2006 8:43:47 GMT
The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he was devastated at losing such an important part of himself . But as he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit, it fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck." Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know? "Been in the business 60 years." Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop, and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure." The salesman said, "Let's see... size 36." Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you,I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."
New suit - £200 New shirt - £36 New underwear - £10 Second Opinion - PRICELESS
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petem
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Posts: 338
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Post by petem on Apr 9, 2008 17:11:12 GMT
Thanks for the sentiments everyone Unfortunately I had to work this year so I had a lot of drinking time to catch up on See you all soon
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petem
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Post by petem on Feb 13, 2008 11:37:18 GMT
All best wishes,good luck for the rest of the season
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petem
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Posts: 338
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Post by petem on Apr 17, 2007 15:16:20 GMT
Just to let everyone know I have had to change my email address due to a major loss of settings.I cannot even get in to change any of my passwords on my original Hotmail account The new one is p-mansf2@hotmail.co.uk
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petem
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Posts: 338
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Post by petem on Apr 9, 2007 10:34:56 GMT
Thanks very much gentlemen,sorry I didn't post back straight away,have been drying out
Tommo Am waiting to hear about a convenient date from the other members of the team and then will get in contact with Ian
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petem
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Post by petem on Dec 31, 2006 21:09:47 GMT
To eat less and drink more,try to have more money coming in than goes out and to play 1 really decent game of Bar Billiards before the end of the season!!! Will probably be making the same resolutions at this time next year A new year to all forum members
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petem
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Post by petem on Jun 5, 2007 6:42:22 GMT
All best wishes tommo,sorry I cannot make the return leg of the Watney Mann.Have a good evening win or lose
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petem
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Post by petem on Jun 5, 2007 12:35:37 GMT
Sundays match with you was a bit daunting,not only was I playing you,on one side was KT and Milko on the other Leon and Lloydy
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petem
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Post by petem on Jun 5, 2007 9:29:54 GMT
I will confirm Nigel's knack of clearing the table.He did it to me in our 3rd round match.The holes seemed to get much larger when he was at the table.I knew what sort of match it was going to be after he went off with around 6000 in the first after I put him on and my first shot rimmed the 100 hole and pegged.At least I played better in the 2nd game after eventually mastering the break.I really must learn not to give so many chances,I got away with it in the first match but Nigel only needs 1 chance,thats why he is up there with the elite and the reigning Mermaid Open champion
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petem
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Post by petem on Jun 7, 2007 9:47:35 GMT
Sounds like a I missed a very sociable evening.Well done to my team mates and commiserations to Handcross Tommo you have obviously dried out after your birthday,See you at Tonbridge?
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petem
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Post by petem on Apr 27, 2007 17:21:43 GMT
Results from last nights match as promised Vern Blake 6530 Ian G 2000 John Hayward 1920 J Lear 2090 Chris Scott 1120 Sparky 6400 Dave France 7300 Tommo 2680 Terry Denyer 5160 D Skinner 2340
Thanks to the Handcross 'boys' for a good evening.There certainly was a gathering of BB experience on show All of the games except Sparky's could have gone either way,John Hayward missing the 100 shot to win his game I expect the return will be just as close,see you all in June
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petem
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Post by petem on Apr 27, 2007 7:02:29 GMT
In the first leg of the QF at the Elms last night the home team scraped a 3-2 win against the Handcross Club.Results to follow
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petem
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Post by petem on Feb 28, 2007 7:55:50 GMT
Alan/Big tj I was not questioning the elligibility of any players.It was just that come break off time we were 1 short due to being let down by 2 of our players.I know that this is not my problem ,as I am not the captain and thanks to Charlie for stepping in I do not know the reason why our 2 players were absent,that is for Dave Anscombe to deal with Redhill not turning up was probably very disapointing for yourself as you did an excellent job of organising everything on the day.It is not that the dates and venue were a secret!!! It was just an observation that there was an inter-mingling of players from different teams present on the day I know that a lot of players turn out in different leagues and my apologies if it came across the wrong way
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petem
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Post by petem on Feb 27, 2007 19:13:05 GMT
You beat me to it Doug.I was going to suggest basically the same thing Having played on Saturday in the B team competition I was surprised to see players from other teams turning out for a "lesser team" Bill Kerr for example who played for Worthing C Charlie Cooper who a week earlier had played for Worthing A was commandered into our Worthing D team because we were 1 short I fully understand that not everyone can play on a Saturday and that some reserves have to be called up,so why not follow the Home/Away Inter-League /Open format and play on a Sunday This way you could probably be certain of having enough players to fill B,C,D teams I know that logistically this may cause a few problems and that the division matches would spread over a longer period of time(not just 2 weekends) but surely it is something worth looking at?
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petem
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Posts: 338
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Post by petem on Feb 25, 2007 11:04:30 GMT
I echo big tj's sentiments.A very enjoyable afternoon on my return to Inter League competition after more than 25 years.The tables were a great leveller and with a little more luck I could have won 3 games instead of just one Also thanks to Dave Anscombe for asking me to play in the first place
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petem
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Posts: 338
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Post by petem on Nov 17, 2006 18:41:42 GMT
Thanks Mark Will try to get down to see you on Saturday.Sunday is out I'm afraid
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petem
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Posts: 338
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Post by petem on Nov 17, 2006 15:40:42 GMT
Can anyone enter these comps?.I am thinking probably 2008 if there is one so as not to make a fool out of myself this time What age do you class as seniors?
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petem
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Posts: 338
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Post by petem on Mar 4, 2008 15:53:29 GMT
Cannot believe no-one from our ageing population of BB players has entered,this was the same last year :'( I would be willing to enter
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petem
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Posts: 338
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Post by petem on Apr 9, 2008 17:13:24 GMT
Hope you can save it Dave.It will be of interest to the people who do not use this forum
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petem
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Posts: 338
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Post by petem on Apr 8, 2008 17:07:42 GMT
Well the answer from the 2 that have replied is positive It needs someone who is in constant contact with the monthly committee meetings and the weekly results to keep the site regularly updated and as Nigel says the past records/statistics need to be shown on the site (as they are on his)
Unfortunately due to other commitments I would have to say no to taking it on but I hope someone does before it lapses into obscurity
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petem
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Posts: 338
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Post by petem on Apr 7, 2008 18:53:27 GMT
Just seen this on the Worthing Bar Billiards Web Site
Letter From The Editor
Dear All.
As I have had little or no correspondence for several months. I must conclude that the Worthing And District Barbilliards League has no further use for its Web site.
As from 21st October 2008 I will not be renewing its account for server space.
On the other hand, if someone would like to take it over I would be glad to pass it on. I would also pass on the registered name. WDBBL.co.uk.
Yours faithfully
Geoff Allibone
Is it worth saving?
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petem
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Posts: 338
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Post by petem on Apr 4, 2008 7:02:24 GMT
Watched from the sidelines as the Swan A beat a rather deflated Duke of Wellington 4-1
Vern chased down Nigel 1-0 Dave gave Pete Brown no chance 2-0 John (4 times down)lost to Marcus 2-1 Ron beat Regg3y 3-1 Chris Scott chased down Chris Reeves 4-1
Well done team,good luck in the final whenever it is
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petem
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Post by petem on Mar 28, 2008 18:46:40 GMT
As promised the full version from the Swan A v Gardeners B Super sub found himself being subbed in Rafa's(Sorry Vern's) squad rotation
Dave France 12310-3210 Nick Brown Nick off at around 1k,Dave with the break straight back ended up at around 7k,Nick tried to chase but only managed another 2k leaving Dave to finish off 1-0
Ron Brewer 4530-5010 Barney Ron made a few small breaks while Barney had 4 attempts to score,after a while he got the measure of the table and came by Ron to win 1-1
Vern Blake 3920-6730 Gary Ridley Dont remember much of the details,only that Vern left it too late to do anything 1-2
Chris Scott 2330-2320 Tony Burgess Nip and tuck game this one,each player getting his nose in front.Tony unable to clear enough balls after the bar dropped leaving Chris to pot the 200 at the first attempt to win 2-2
Terry Denyer 630-9210 Neil Higgins Much closer at the start than the score suggests,Neil having a bit of trouble,Terry having a lot. When Neil did get the hang of it he made the split look very easy,just as Dave had done in the first game 2-3
Well another season comes to an end,I played more than I thought I was going to and did manage to win a game(sorry Brian),lets hope that my circumstances change and I can play a fuller part for the team next season
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petem
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Post by petem on Mar 28, 2008 9:27:53 GMT
Unlucky for the second year running Nigel,fell at the 2nd last hurdle this year and the final one the year before.Better luck next time Probably see you next week at the Stadium for the shield semi
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petem
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Post by petem on Mar 27, 2008 23:23:37 GMT
Yes congrats to the Stadium and well played to all teams this season The result from the Swan tonight was Swan A 2-3 Gardeners B So the Swan finish the season how they started with yet another defeat Full details to follow tomorrow if Barneybear doesn't beat me to it
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petem
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Post by petem on Apr 2, 2008 6:38:17 GMT
Understand Doug/Matt beat Vern/Ron No scores though
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petem
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Posts: 338
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Post by petem on Mar 21, 2008 8:27:10 GMT
As promised the full version of last nights events Game 1 We was robbed!!! Barry Holt 9580-8820 Dave France Dave off after 3k,Barry only managed about 1k on his first serious break,Dave built up a lead of 6k.Barry got the break back and going well got his nose in front.Leaving a ball on the edge of the 100 hole Barry missed it on the way up but it just had enough pace and side to just kiss it on the way back therefore keeping the break,not enough time for Dave to come back 1-0 I very nearly went outside to see if Barry had stepped in something on the way in Game 2 Brian Richards 1240-6350 Pete M ;D In the end I didn't need any of Barry's luck.Brian Pegged his opener,I got the break back only to miss the straight pot to the left hand 50.A bit of interplay left me around 500 up until I got a break of 5k and touched just as the bar went 1-1 Game 3 Roger Taylor 4310-5780 Terry Denyer Terry off cheaply,Roger going well but seemed to have a little trouble with the split.Terry got the break back and played out the table 1-2 Game 4 Matt Squire 7310-790 Vern Blake Good steady break from Matt virtually killed off the game at the first attempt.Vern did get the break but unable to anything 2-2 Game 5 Doug Mahy 7740-1630 Chris Scott Chris off earl again,Doug played a good steady game to kill it off 3-2 Good evening with lots of banter and a good range of sandwiches Yet again we managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory :'(
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petem
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Post by petem on Mar 20, 2008 23:22:43 GMT
Just a quick post Swan B 3-2 Swan A :-/ Will post details later when I'm not so damned tired
Understand a shock result Duke 1-4 Gardeners A
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petem
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Posts: 338
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Post by petem on Dec 10, 2007 12:24:58 GMT
Stranger things have happened Nigel
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petem
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Post by petem on Dec 9, 2007 15:07:22 GMT
Understand that the Gardeners B bt Swan A-No scores I'm afraid
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